Last night I went to my high school reunion. It wasn’t a huge gathering of a hundred people in a hotel ballroom, it was a small gathering at a Mexican restaurant. Maybe 20 or 30 people. I hadn’t been close friends with most of the people present when we were students together 32 years ago, but I did, at least, remember most of them. Everyone was smiling and congenial. We hugged, asked about children, grandchildren and parents. We told each other how wonderful we looked and truly meant it. Happiness and peace seemed present in everyone, and the inner beauty of each person was readily apparent.
On the surface, the experience was enjoyable: renewing acquaintances from long ago. On a deeper level, it was mildly unnerving: revisiting the shadow of my former self. Someone asked me if I had kept in touch with any of our classmates through the years and I had to honestly answer that I hadn’t. That question opened a little tunnel to my past and caused me to consider who I was and how I got from there to here.
Life is a process of self discovery. During the past five years I made a rather significant discovery about myself. Consequently, it occurs to me that years ago, living without this information was not exactly advantageous. I found myself struggling to feel comfortable with myself and feel as though I had control of my own happiness.
As I was about to depart, someone mentioned how much I had changed. And she was right. On the drive home I realized my own journey of self discovery had been astonishingly transformational. While I am the same person that I was all those years ago, I now know who that person is. I am able to live an authentic life and it has removed those barriers to happiness that seemed to plague me before.
So overall, I’m glad I went to this reunion. I wish it had not been such a fleeting, hurried experience. But it was a good experience.
Oh, this post brought back so many feelings I had at my ten year HS renuion. And yes, I know what you mean about it being enjoyable, yet also unnerving.
ReplyDeleteI love how you said this....
"Life is a process of self discovery."
It sure is.
"I now know who that person is. I am able to live an authentic life and it has removed those barriers to happiness that seemed to plague me before."
(((( Diane )))))
Thanks so much for sharing this moment with us!
X
how lucky i am the discovery was made when it was... ILY!
ReplyDeleteI am very much the person I was then, yet very different...back then we were so wrapped in our own problems and worried about other's opinions, we were afraid to be who we really are, and now with age and wisdom, we feel the freddom to be ourselves. And oh, what a wonderful thing it is! I found at reunion 10 and 20, people were still so focused on impressing one another. Hubby had his 30 yr last year and mine is next. I fond a vast difference at the 30 yr....people really embraced the comfort of being genuine. It was wonderful and freeing, and I found I had common interests with people I'd never given the time of day to or them to me! I think we are all connected on a much deeper level than we allow oursleves to realized once we move past the walls. Does that make sense? I ams so glad you enjoyed your reunion, but more happy that you are living life with your genuine self and have found love and happiness. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI love the mark of one's self discovery in terms of how much change has been endured through the years. What I hate about meeting up with people I haven't seen in a while is seeing them as EXACTLY the same...if there's no progression, what the heck have they been doing in life? Good for you for moving foward. Because I moved to Florida my senior year of high school, it's tough to feel attached to any class. I made some great friends here, but it's a small group with which I had little history in pre-college days. I'm glad you went & enjoyed it!
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