Bridging the generations with shopping

When I was younger, perhaps high school age, my mom and I took a shopping trip to the Country Club Plaza in Kansas City. Some of her favorite stores were still there and we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Mommy loved the old fashioned stores that had lovely rugs, served tea while you shopped and had huge powder rooms with soft upholstered furniture. After that shopping trip with her, I fell in love with that style of retail shopping experience too.

I don’t keep up with economic indicators, vis-à-vis the impact of unemployment and recession to privately-owned retailers.

However, in 2008, I started noticing some changes.

One particular day, shortly after Thanksgiving, I was doing some Christmas shopping and visited a couple of well established clothing boutiques in Houston. At Kathryn Risley’s shop I noticed that the inventory appeared very sparse, particularly given the time of year. However, I was fortunate enough to find a lovely top for my mom, on a mark-down rack, so I made my purchase and counted my blessings. Earlier that day, at Etui, another favorite just down the street, I had overheard one of the staff members at the shop telling a customer that they hadn’t observed any change to their customer’s spending habits, despite all the reports of economic doom and gloom.

Etui is located in an upscale urban neighborhood, but their merchandise is very reasonably priced. Well, not priced like TJ Maxx, but you know, not like the privately owned boutiques on Chicago’s famed Oak Street either.

It sounded like their client base was loyal enough and financially secure enough to continue spending money on clothing and accessories.

I was relieved to hear this news. While I’m certainly far from an avid shopper, I love pretty clothing and accessories and love knowing that there are a few places where I am confident I can locate completely unique, quality garments in a comfortable, but stimulating atmosphere at a price point that works within my budget.

Elizabeth’s Boutique in The Woodlands falls in this category too. I had been fortunate enough to time my last couple of visits to this lovely store to take advantage of an after-season clearance. But new inventory was still plentiful. My optimism remained high. These boutiques gave me the same feeling of that shopping experience with my mom some 30 years ago.

Kathryn Risley sent an email in early spring 2009, saying that she had closed her store and was launching a new fashion venture in an online space.

Six or seven months later, I received an email from Etui indicating that they were announcing a new fashion partner that was going to share their retail space. Hmmm. It didn’t lure me in, but I was hopeful their resourcefulness would carry them through the apparent financial difficulties creeping into even these businesses with a “loyal” customer base.

About four weeks ago, I noticed a “Sale” banner at Elizabeth’s Boutique indicating they were going out of business.

Then today another email arrived from Etui. They are closing their doors after almost 30 years.

I have to admit, it bothers me. I don’t know if shopping at independent retailers has been largely replaced by shopping online. Perhaps Kathryn Risley knows. Perhaps permanent changes in human behavior have been established, driven by technology, fuel cost and basic economics.

But on the eve of Mother’s Day, this news has extinguished the possibility of participating in an experience that always made me feel like my mother’s daughter.

Homemade

2nd vein.

I’m turning into my mom. Part of me, anyway. Not the casino-slot-machine-diva part. The homemade-buttons-and-bows part. I know I’ve written a couple of blog entries about my foray into homemade things and craft projects. It’s a far cry from the way I would have envisioned spending my time if you had asked me ten years ago. But now it just seems genuine and personal.

Cristy brought home a little pot of daisies from the store last night. It is a welcome gift from a group of colleagues for a coworker returning to work after completing a treatment protocol for breast cancer. Cristy wanted it to be sweet and special, so I offered to make a little bow for the plant and thankfully, she agreed. In five minutes I had made a little bow out of cotton fabric layered alongside a smaller bow of raffia and string with a couple of beads attached to the ends of the string. I tied the bows to a little plastic card holder and anchored it into the soil. It doesn’t look spectacular, but it does look personal. It looks like this woman’s coworkers cared enough about her to make a homemade bow for the pretty potted daisies.

I will probably turn into one of those women who troll the clearance table at JoAnn’s, picking up remnants of lace, ribbon and pretty patterned fabrics to adorn greeting cards, packages and gifts of all sorts. Just a little touch to make them personal. That’s what my mom always did.

Earth hour

I had forgotten about Earth Hour approaching. We had been out completing an errand and when we arrived home around 7pm I made a few candle lanterns to hang outdoors in the trees. It was a simple process with a nice visual effect. We sat indoors at the kitchen table with the flickering glow beyond giving us a calming lift to our spirits. I experimented with the candlelight setting on my camera, then suddenly at 8:15, remembered Earth hour.

Cristy hurriedly prepared salads for dinner and boiled water in the kettle for tea. I gathered a dozen or so votive candle holders and tea lights and placed them in small groupings, hoping that the candle glow would give us sufficient light that we would not feel compelled to abandon the Earth hour project.

We ate our dinner and talked. Sat peacefully in the candlelight past 9:30.

I don’t remember now what roused us from the kitchen table. It was probably the requirement to tend to the needs of one of the dogs, but at shortly after 10pm, we returned to life by electric lights. Washed the dishes, washed and put away the votive holders, and washed our faces in preparation for bed.

The simplicity of sharing conversation by candlelight was lovely.

Smile

I subscribe to an industry newsfeed and some days I’ll click on the embedded article and read it. One day last December, the article title grabbed my attention: 10 Reasons Why Your Blog Sucks. With mounting trepidation, I clicked and braced myself to read the harsh facts.

I pondered this realization, along with a few similar articles that came my way through the months of January and February. I considered taking the blog private to rid myself of the shame and embarrassment of having such a sucky blog.

But I haven’t yet done that. Still treating it like the journal I always intended it to be, and still posting when I’m inspired and have the time.

And then joy of joys, last week two fabulously creative and inspired bloggers shared some blog love with me in the form of an award. I love me a little bling, so these sparkly awards are just what the doctor ordered to banish that suckiness.

These two bloggers truly inspire me. Fullet, an artist and writer with an enormous depth of creative energy, first captured my attention when he wrote about the curiously amazing Christmas tradition in Catalonia surrounding the Tió, a sort of yule log. I was hooked. But when he started his second blog and posted an animated clip of one of his own collages, I became a devoted fan. I must have watched that clip a dozen times. Please click over to his two blogs to fill your morning coffee mug with delightful inspiration: Secret Forest and Collage Drawer.

Suzicate, a blogger, poet and quilting artist tells stories in a pure voice. Her writing style is so startlingly personal that it almost seems I can hear her narrating in my head, although I have never before heard her voice. Sometimes that voice is chattering and laughing, and sometimes it is nearly trembling with emotion. Besides being a prolific writer, she is a dedicated reader of literally dozens of blogs. Suzicate’s wonderful blog is The Water Witch's Daugher.

I am grateful that Fullet and Suzicate find the time to click over to my blog now and then. Thank you both for your internet friendship and for reminding me that my blog doesn’t really suck.

And now, the awards. Just like opening presents, one of my favorite things.

The Happy Blog Award, from Fullet, comes with a request to list 10 things that make me happy:

1. a sunny day
2. coffee in the morning
3. my animal companions
4. my human companion, Cristy
5. pretty shoes
6. shiny objects (pretty things of all sorts)
7. prayer
8. creative pursuits
9. the seashore
10. other people’s smiles.

And in appreciation, I am glad to share the Happy Blog award with a few blogs that always make me happy too.

Gropius vs. Eddie, a fabulous portrayal of life in words and photographs

IslandRoar, a collection of insightful, clever and amusing reflections

The Art of Chrissy Marie, a sweet celebration of nature, photography and art.

The Golden Award is from Suzicate and I am inspired to share this with a blogger who writes from her heart: Stephanie at Chocolate and Whine.

And finally, just because I feel like it, I'm picking up the Circle of Friendship award from Suzicate too. Blogging is more fun when you share, so if you are reading and would like to take this nice award, please do!

In light of this heavenly avalanche of bloggy sweetness, I think I just might trash those 10 reasons about my blog sucking. I'll bet that guy (Edward Khoo) has never even read my blog. But y'all have. And I so LOVE you! Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment now and then.

The value of love

I read an advice column a little earlier this morning (Prudie’s column, http://www.slate.com/id/2247473/) about the financial burden of purchasing a diamond engagement ring. The young man seeking the advice did not want to over-extend himself way beyond his comfort zone in order to enter marital bliss. It was no secret to him that his hopeful bride-to-be wanted a sparkly engagement ring. He preferred to opt for a less costly engagement ring, or possibly none at all, but he did not want to lose the love of his life over a purchase, that when compared to the price of a car, pales in comparison.

I have heard other men sort of grumble over the “ticket price” of getting engaged. So then, I start to wonder, how many of these individuals drive automobiles that had a price tag over $20K? How many of these individuals have purchased other pricey items for their own amusement such as televisions, guitars, mountain bikes, hunting/fishing equipment, cameras, golf clubs….?

So what’s up with that? Why is the purchase of an engagement ring perceived to be burdensome? OK, not with everyone to be sure, but it’s out there.

We live in a culture heavily laden with the opportunity to purchase luxury items of all sorts. Designer shoes, resort vacations, homes with professionally equipped kitchens and sumptuous master baths, private school tuition, Swiss wristwatches, German cars, French wine.

Do we all overindulge? No. But in truth, most Americans probably spend money to support the best lifestyle they can afford. They purchase the best car within their budget. They buy a house in the best neighborhood they can afford. They spend money as wisely as they can on recreational items that suit their family’s preferences. In other words, they buy the things they value. This is the financial value we assign to living our lives.

So what is the value of love? Ouch. Sounds so unromantic.

On the one hand, our culture recognizes and celebrates the tradition and ceremony around marriage and the engagement ring, good or bad, is an important symbolic part of that tradition. Our culture is very good at recognizing symbols. A solitaire diamond ring is a symbol of love and promise between two people. It tells us they have agreed to join their lives in marriage. Every morning, as she dresses, this woman will place her engagement ring on her hand along with her wedding ring and it will remind her that the person she married valued her enough to express their love with this symbol. It makes her feel valued by extension.

On the other hand, it’s not for everyone. Not everyone needs to feel valued by wearing a big sparkly ring.

But back to our advice-column guy, this is not the case for the woman he hopes to marry.

Here's my (unsolicited) advice to you, dude. Take her shopping and pay attention to the rings that make her catch her breath. And then buy one of those. Buy the one that you want her to associate with you when she glances at it on her hand every day for the rest of her life.

Because trust me, it could go another way. Say you don’t buy it now and you tell yourself that you’ll get one for her later, when you’re established in your career. Then in a year or two, when you’re out of grad school and you’ve got a nice job, you decide to go shopping for a nice big expensive car for yourself. You’ll conveniently tell yourself that you can pick your wife up some diamond earrings for your wedding anniversary. The ring is forgotten.

You will never get engaged to her again. You will never marry her again. The symbol of your love around this all-important ritualistic passage of life is too important to diminish.

Get over yourself, cheapskate.

Seems like I might have some personal issues around this particular topic. OK. Busted. But hey, it’s my diary.

Share the love

Many years ago I read something in the Ann Landers column about her participation in Valentines for Vets, a program that distributes valentine cards to patients in VA hospitals across the country. Apparently any kind of valentine was appreciated. I thought it sounded like a worthwhile effort and decided to give it a whirl with homemade valentines.

Perhaps I was remembering fondly the homemade Valentine’s Day boxes my mom helped me make for school, or some other homemade valentine lovely crafted from red paper, doilies and pink sugar hearts. The project of making the valentine was all about love and sharing that time with my mom.

I think I made about 12 valentines for the vets that year. Large format red paper with a white crepe ruffled edge, glitter painted greeting on the front and a hand-written note inside. The fact that I remember these valentines so clearly is significant proof that I loved that project, creating the pretty cards. I don’t remember anything else about Valentine’s Day that year, but I remember making those homemade cards and mailing them off to their destination.

So this year I think I am going to resurrect my creativity and assemble a few pretty valentine greetings, using the supplies I have at my disposal at home: ribbon, buttons, paper, elmer’s glue, pencil, fabric remnants, needle & thread. Surely the results of my efforts will be at least as good as any Valentine card I might find at the Hallmark store. But the big plus, is that it will again connect me to those precious valentines memories, expressing love through simple creative expression.

HLSR bling-bling

Publicity for the 2010 Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo has begun. The music entertainment lineup has been announced, ticket sales are poised to launch promptly at 10am this coming Saturday morning, and as I was browsing the website yesterday evening, I stumbled upon the official HLSR paraphernalia online store. Yes, my friends, I am on a quest to update my “look” while attending HLSR this year in order to appear, shall we say, somewhat more official. And one item from the online store caught my attention. It is a Committee Badge. An official committee badge that resembles a sheriff’s badge from an old western movie. But instead of a star, the badge is emblazoned with a spur. I am coveting this badge!

Now I am not quite certain whether to pursue it or not, since in all honesty, I have never served on a committee. But I may make an attempt. Apparently if you served on a committee at some time in the past, you may request and purchase a badge for that prior service. All you have to do is send an email to make this request, specifying the committee and the particular position in which you served.

I do not know how accurate HLSR’s records are back 10 years, or if they really care much about the authenticity of selling a badge to some scammer, like me, who just wants to amp up her rodeo garb with a little official-looking bling.

Worth a try?