skip to main |
skip to sidebar
One of my colleagues, an accountant in our department, is also a well-known practical jokester along with being a truly wonderful human being with a heart full of kindness.
But, back to the practical joking side. If he happens to pop his head into the doorway of your office, there’s a high likelihood that some sort of amusement is about to follow.
Not so long ago, he made the rounds through the office asking a riddle. I didn’t get the answer right, but much to his astonishment, no one did.
To set the stage, I work in a professional industry where the workforce is predominantly female at all levels of the organization. Our VP-Operations is female and has been in this industry for the entire duration of her career.
Here’s the riddle.
*****
A man and his young son were in a serious automobile accident. By the time the ambulance arrived, it was too late for the paramedics to save the man, but the child was still alive. The ambulance rushed him to the hospital and in the emergency room, the medical team quickly determined that surgery was necessary to save his life. They wheeled the child into the operating room and called a doctor in to perform the emergency operation. The doctor raced downstairs, prepped and stepped into the operating room, but after taking one look at the patient, said to the medical team: “I cannot operate on this patient.”
One of the nurses asked, “But doctor, why not?”
The doctor answered, “Because this patient is my son.”
Who is the doctor?
*****
As I mentioned, my guess was incorrect. I guessed that the doctor was the child’s grandfather. Didn’t sound right to me at the time, but I was grasping.
My coworker shook his head and said, the doctor is the child’s mother.
So obvious.
That’s what he said too.
But he had asked a half dozen college educated women to answer the riddle and not one got the answer right. Every single person assumed that the doctor’s gender was male.
We are a forward thinking group that supports the advancement of women. So why did this very basic assumption eclipse our consideration?
I don’t have the answer to that riddle.
I read that the lunar calendar calls for a full moon, a blue moon, on New Year’s Eve. A rare convergence. An omen, perhaps? I do love omens presented in the shape of gifts from nature itself.
This blue moon shall be a good omen. May it bring the blessing of humility, faith and gratitude to all who observe its beauty. May it afford us a more profound glimpse into the inner courage, compassion and diligence we have stored within the depths of our being. May it open our minds, hearts and eyes to the realities of our life, that we may live in the present tense, making appropriate choices and telling the truth, with love, to ourselves and to others. May it allow us a balanced view of ourselves, our family, community and world so that we may choose words and deeds for good.
May this blue moon give us resilience in the face of adversity and a stronger sense of connection to the God of our understanding and the fabric of humanity.
As we leave our fingerprints on the lives of others, and on the world in general in 2010, let them be thoughtful, intentional and gentle. May this moon give us the soft light we need to illuminate our path in the coming year.
As I was walking into the office this morning, I met up with a colleague in the elevator lobby and we rode up to our floor together. She mentioned that she saw me pull into the parking garage and thought to herself that I was someone she really looked up to professionally. She said she admired the way that I was handling my career and considered me a mentor. I, of course, returned the compliment with some supportive words of encouragement, acknowledging how wonderful she is and what an important contribution she makes.
This exchange gives me pause to consider. How important is it for us to have professional mentors or role models with whom we can personally identify? Does it contribute in a meaningful way to job satisfaction? What are the behaviors or characteristics of those individuals most often identified as mentors or professional role models?
A number of years ago I worked for a large professional consulting organization that implemented a mentoring program specifically for mid-career females. It was structured as a group, with a designated senior professional as the group leader. The premise was to provide a network of peer contacts plus a senior mentoring contact for each female in the group. The idea behind this premise was splendid, but the only drawback for me, was that I had no relationship with any of the members of this network because I worked in a different business unit. The level of effort required to build the trusting individual relationships that would make this network a solid resource for me, personally, was not on my short list of things to do. I already invested plenty of time in my job and every spare nanosecond I was able to detach from it was precious. So while on the one hand the mentoring network was something I felt I wanted, the investment-versus-payoff balance was out of whack.
Earlier this year, I attended an industry lunch meeting and was surprised beyond belief when one of the speakers, a rather senior female executive in another organization, spoke quite frankly about gender disparities. Our field is dominated by females, yet there are few females in senior executive roles. This is true. The speaker took it a step further, suggesting that we, females, do ourselves a disservice by not supporting each other. She suggested, in fact, that our behaviors actually undermine our opportunities to succeed.
If my own response was a barometer for the rest of the audience, I would have to say that we were startled, and perhaps even uncomfortable by her frankness. The subject seemed taboo. No one ventured to ask a question. But the truth is that I would have liked to have delved into the conversation further. In a different, safer forum.
I often feel a nonspecific subliminal tension with my own manager. She is very smart and I respect her. I do not know why the tension exists and I do not know how to replace it with something that is healthier and stronger for us both.
The only thing that comes to mind, in light of this morning’s exchange, is to turn her into a mentor. What if I made an effort to let her know that I valued her professional accomplishments and considered her an amazing role model? What if she wants to know that I value her and my behavior is just not confirming my feelings? Perhaps I can influence the transformation of this relationship into something better and I have nothing to lose from trying.
Today's morning commute was reasonably light, just the typical slow patch a bit north of the 610 loop. As usual, with no distraction from my out-of-commission car audio system, my mind is free to wander. Hundreds of thought fragments float behind my eyes, a tiny thread dangling at the bottom of each. I grab one, follow it for a few moments until it carries my brain to another. Then I release it and follow the next thread. Every so often this stream-of-subconsciousness bubbles up to the surface and calls for my conscious attention.
It happened that way this morning, one of these thought fragments caught my attention and took me to the phrase noblesse oblige. It reminded me of a conversation I had with someone a number of years ago. The content of the conversation was regarding community service and the source of personal motivation to become involved in service. At the time, I had never heard this phrase and did not know the precise meaning. And my stupid pride stood in the way of just asking. Within the context of the conversation, I had a feeling that the definition had something to do with extending oneself in service due more from a sense of socio-economic obligation than desire to extend a helping hand.
So, I looked it up today, all these years later. Seems as though the precise meaning of the phrase needs to be inferred from the tone in which it is spoken. Makes sense. It is an old phrase, originating in an age where hard class distinctions were routinely observed as part of daily life.
And I wonder, now, if it matters. I mean, in terms of that original conversation years ago: is the act of performing community service somehow invalidated if it does not come from a pure place of love, but rather from a sense of obligation? Right now, I’d say no. I think the real question is whether the individual performing the service will realize that his or her time and effort is needed and valued. And consequently, whether that person can then forge a personal link to our innate human tendency to offer help, transforming the motivation into a human connection, rather than a chore or obligation. In other words, is this person likely to integrate community service into their life because it is meaningful?
Hmmm, just a thought for the day from the meandering mind of the commuter.
I went to a bridal shower after work yesterday. The young bride-to-be will be getting married in a few weeks and everyone who attended was happy to share in her joy and excitement.
Weddings are a happy occasion and one of the rare life-landmark ceremonies that we recognize and celebrate in our society. Ceremonies serve to preserve rituals through the generations and the wedding ritual in particular is meaningful in its purpose of joining two lives.
Until recently, I had not given much thought to the fact that the ceremony of marriage establishing the union of two lives is not actually available to all members of our society. Perhaps I had not given this much thought just because I was not paying much attention to the world. Or perhaps it was because I simply took marriage, as an institution, for granted and conveniently forgot that for a portion of our society, this institution is not legal. (I wonder if that means it is illegal?) It is possible, that in my self-centered view of the world, I simply did not imagine that gay men and women would be interested in being married.
Ironically, I am a gay female and am planning to marry my beloved Cristy on June 26, 2010. The fact that our marriage will not be recognized as a legal ceremony in our society will not dampen my joy and it will not diminish its significance in my heart or mind. It simply makes me consider that the society in which I live and support with my vote and taxes, must imagine that I would not be interested in being married. Wrong.
Dead wrong.
I want to spend my life with the person that I love and this person happens to be female. I want to know that in all matters of public record, she will be considered my next-of-kin. I want to know that we have the option of filing a federal tax return “married filing jointly.” I want to know that in terms of major medical coverage, the term “life changing event” applies to us.
But this is simply not the case. None of these things will be true. In order to look out for each others’ interests, to the best of our abilities, we will need to define certain provisions in a legally approved document, something that other legally married couples would not necessarily need to consider. The irony of this is not lost on me.
In a conversation with the bride-to-be at her shower, I shared my news with her, since she had previously met Cristy. She expressed her happiness without reserve. I suspect that the way that we each feel about our level of commitment to our respective marriages is perhaps identical. However, there is a world of difference in the way that my fellow citizens will recognize our respective marriages.
One of my colleagues, an accountant in our department, is also a well-known practical jokester along with being a truly wonderful human being with a heart full of kindness.
