15 July 2010

Curse of the Morton's toe

Not so long ago, I was busy changing the bed sheets and wasn’t paying attention where I placed my feet as I shuffled around the bed. Consequently, in a moment of distraction, I slammed my toes into one of the bed frame legs. Ouchee! The index-toe on my left foot, in particular.

I have one of those toe configurations where the index toe is longer than the big-thumb toe. According to that ultra-reliable source of information, Wikipedia, this skeletal configuration of the foot is known as Morton’s toe.

This is why my second toe suffered the biggest impact from that little mishap. And it was not at all a pleasant experience, I might add.

To aggravate the situation, when I stumbled out of bed at an early-early hour the next morning to let the dogs out into the back yard, I snagged the very same toe in a loose loop of the rug en-route to the back door.

Imagine that sequence of events, if you please. A somewhat rude way to wake up on a Saturday morning.

The toe swelled slightly and the skin coloring darkened, but not much. I wasn’t worried and had no trouble standing, walking, wearing shoes or doing cartwheels (kidding). In fact, I forgot about it for a few weeks.

Then another clumsiness episode occurred.

Walking across the patio, I stubbed that same particular Morton toe over the spa-control button. It’s a medium sized button about 15” from the edge of the pool that controls the spa jets, about the size of a cupcake. And gosh-darn that got me to pay attention where I was walking. Phooey! Hurt so badly it took my breath away.

Might as well make a joke about it, right? The curse of this Morton’s toe got Cristy to thinking that perhaps the solution would just be to lop it down to size. We’ve got a handy tool in the garage that could do the trick.

I’ve taken that suggestion under advisement for the time being.


  1. Ya know, I'm FOREVER stubbing my toes (mainly the baby toes). And yet, it's funny because I never do it while I'm wearing shoes. One time while I was visiting my mother in Florida I stubbed my left baby toe so hard I broke it. OMG...it turned completely black and blue, but eventually healed (I think).

    I don't know whether it's because I miss judge the distance between an object and my feet, but I'm starting to think I need to wear one of those rubber bumper guards you see on tug boats - HA!

  2. "one of those toe configurations where the index toe is longer than the big-thumb toe..." you aren't the only one with this configuration. Welcome to the club.

  3. Oh ouch. I've dropped some serious crap on my toes and always seem to be bumping into things. Not to mention my toes are so ugly. I hate them. Hoping you're feeling better soon & glad you didn't break one of them!