04 November 2009

Blue

You know some days are just not as great as other days. For the most part I keep a positive outlook, count my blessings and try to complain less. I’m not always successful and am the first to admit that I have plenty of shortcomings. But today is just not a really good day. Yesterday wasn’t either, come to think of it.

Could be the full moon, biorhythms, fatigue, who knows. To make matters worse, I start punishing myself inside my head by replaying unpleasant circumstances from long ago, feeling the shame and humiliation all over again. Let it go, already! What’s up with that?

I feel unbalanced and out of touch with myself, with all other humans on the planet. I’m not about to publish a manifesto describing a new conspiracy theory just yet; no immediate need to call the mental health patrol Just slightly out of step, that’s all. As if my existence is somehow diminished, maybe even inconsequential.

Seems I’ve felt this way before, yes, it does sound familiar now that I’m reading it back to myself. But I’m taking the regular dose of prescribed meds…could be pms…could just be Wednesday.

2 comments:

  1. I felt exactly like that yesterday. And then today I have a headache. Trying to make sure it doesn't turn into a full blown migraine, then I'm screwed.
    I'm convinced its hormonal though. As much as I curse hormones and how they wreak havoc on my life, they are a part of me. When my poor boyfriend has to deal with some consequences due to the shifts that occur, I feel bad and apologize. I do however usually throw in a little reminder as I point to my southern regions...they come with the package!

    Hope you feel better soon!

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  2. A gentle reminder from Gretchen Rubin's blog:
    There's a story about a king who challenges his wise men to bring him something that, when he's sad it will make him happy, and when he's happy it will make him sad. They spend months on the project, and return to him with a small ring engraved with the saying, "This too, shall pass." It's a great reminder that everything is cyclical.

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